Glass Menagerie: Initiation

Virginia Heffernan gets Google Glass and experiences a confounding, exhiliarating initiation

Virginia Heffernan is the national correspondent for Yahoo! News, covering culture and politics from a digital perspective. She wrote extensively on Internet culture during her eight years as a staff writer for The New York Times, and she has also worked at Harper’s, the New Yorker and Slate. Her book, “Magic and Loss: The Pleasures of the Internet,” is forthcoming from Simon & Schuster.

by Virginia Heffernan | @YahooTech

Hot, like a hard-ridden horse, my stallion-white Google Glass is resting.

It’s charging. At rest, the exclusive, pricey and futuristic Glass device doesn’t call to mind a racehorse. Or a Maserati, a DeLorean, or the must-have iPhone six years ago. Glass appears, frankly, weak. Amid other plastic jazz from my purse, including turquoise sunglasses and a cheap vented hairbrush, Glass looks instead like a hated orthodontic device, or the never-used headset to a very old cordless phone.

It scares me, actually, how much Glass in repose resembles any another hunk of obsolete technology found around the house that will eventually be thrown away. Discarded — not by the culture, but by me, the person who bought it and who already from time to time aimlessly holds onto dozens of gadgets and chargers and wires that, though once greeted with erotically high hopes, will be scrapped with the coffee grounds, unrecycled.

But I should not race ahead. Because now is the time of treasuring and pageantry for Google Glass. The first wearable Internet unit is having its moment. No one but real jerks are talking ashes to ashes, or Segways to Segways, when it comes to Glass. We’re not anywhere near that.

*

I was just “fitted” with Google Glass on Friday, at an undisclosed location: spacious, minimalist, done in exposed ducts, painted pipes and reclaimed wood. A bar lined one wall; espresso on ice was offered. Spunky grass-fed humans, of various hues and gender-codings, in non-GMO cotton, danced attendance on me. I am a so-called Glass Explorer, chosen to try out Glass on the strength of my (admittedly overworked) 140-character “application” to Project Glass from February 27. In this tweet, I told Google what I would do were they to endow me with an early pair of Glass:

“I read what you wrote,” said Norm, my warm and adorable Glass Guide, as he greeted me in Glass’s organic-modern loft in Manhattan. “I really liked it.”

It occurred to me that I had never liked a person more than I liked Norm, for that moment. I had tweeted something, and connected with Norm through words like “poetry” and “grief,” but connected so exactly that he—and Father Google, of whom Norm was an emissary—wanted to mark that connection by giving me the company’s finest and newest invention: the Internet, strappable to the human skull.

By “give,” of course, I mean I had the exquisite privilege, along with several thousand other “contest winners,” of paying $2000 for Glass, plus accessories. Because it is nearly summer I chose the white color called “cotton,” which spoke to me more than orange “tangerine” or blue “sky” or “shale” or “charcoal.” I asked Norm about the silliness of the color names, and he told me they were meant to invoke “nature.”

“We’re bringing the humanity back to technology,” he added, just as I tried to imagine what Google was bringing the nature back to—but I didn’t ask.

He asked me what app I was most looking forward to using on Glass—Norm just said Glass, never your or my Glass—and I told him Twitter.

“I use Twitter a lot, too,” Norm said. “Currently, though, you can’t initiate tweets.” You can only retweet and favorite, not actually tweet from Glass, he explained, looking sanguine as he expertly moved me through some minor fitting and Wi-Fi hookup, which involved pointing the Glass eye at a kind of barcode on a laptop screen. It lamped the bar code and presto—connected! Amazing! Who cares if I couldn’t “initiate tweets”?

Wait, that means I can’t tweet.

But Norm was onto the next thing: taking photos and videos. He showed me a burnished late-afternoon early-summer view of ravishing Manhattan, from the broad and high Google window in Chelsea, looking south. He instructed me to speak “the magic words" -- “OK, Glass” -- which activate the system and precede any command.

“OK, Glass, take a picture,” I said. It did—a hologram the size of an olive pit with an image of the golden Big Apple suddenly framed that image and froze it. The photo, somehow, flew to Google+.

As I half-expected, I am having to finally learn about Google+. I’ve had a Google+ account for years, or however long it’s been around, but now that it’s the main depot for all things shareable from Glass, I’m committing to it. This is partly because currently—as my savior Norm has taught me to say—Facebook and Twitter and the other social networks play only warily with Glass.

Like a lot of things. In addition to Twitter and Facebook, here are some more things Glass currently plays only warily with: Third-party apps; stuttery users (on Glass, I managed to look up “um” on Google seven times, and now I am a budding expert on UM, The University of Miami); and network names that have “special characters” like hyphens in them. I was not able to access Wi-Fi by the beach, because the network I typically use (“Guest-Cottage”) contains a hyphen.

But somehow this didn’t bother me, all the things that Glass is currently stymied by. It’s in my wiring, after all, to believe that something works when it doesn’t, or doesn’t properly, especially when it’s new. And I never, ever think anything’s “creepy”: not cloning, not Mars expeditions, not Google Glass. If I sense that something is fresh and exciting, like Google Glass, everything in me wants to move heaven and earth to spin it into bliss.

Now, I am holding onto the last sales line that Norm -- who was both cheerful and sphinx-like, come to think of it, like an oracular character from “Inception” or “Vanilla Sky” -- gave to me. His parting advice about Google Glass was the koan: “Ease into it.”

“Ease into it?!” I said. “What does that mean? Like a psychological thing?”

“Like an epilepsy thing? A brain control thing?” asked my boyfriend, Jamie, who had come as my plus-one.

Nothing but dogged reiteration from Norm. “Just ease into it,” he said. “Ease into it. It’s new. It’s like anything else. Just. Ease. Into. It.”

And then Norm was gone.

Still, as I left my Friday initiation with Jamie, I fairly tripped out into the sunset. In a way that has never happened to me before, people actually stared at us, with me in the medical-cyborg headgear, as I snapped photos of Manhattanites with my cotton-colored Glass; waiters and taxi drivers and teens on the sidewalk evinced a childlike sense of wonder.

Life’s too short to be blasé about -- or to ease into -- Google Glass. Isn’t it?

*

I’m going to keep documenting my efforts here in The Glass Menagerie, to find the poetry and grief and hallucination in Google Glass. Next entry up: My experience as a Glass Pariah in Brooklyn -- where I live; where they cherish 1870 and 1940; where they avert their eyes from all things futurish; and where now, thanks to the Glass on my head, no one will talk to me.

  • Hyundai Motor unveils small SUV concept for China, to launch this year

    By Hyunjoo Jin SEOUL (Reuters) - South Korea's Hyundai Motor on Sunday unveiled its small sport utility vehicle (SUV) concept targeted at the Chinese market, planning to join a flurry of rivals in tapping the growing segment in the world's biggest market. Hyundai said it had picked popular Korean actor Kim Soo-hyun to promote the subcompact SUV ix25, to capitalize on the Korean pop culture boom in wooing Chinese customers aged between 25 and 35. Small SUVs are a bright spot in key markets from China and India to the United States and Europe, offering the functionality and space of SUVs in an affordable small vehicle. In China, General Motors and Ford Motor are offering small SUVs Trax and EcoSport, respectively, among other carmakers.

  • In the driving seat: China's yuppies are new market force for global automakers

    By Samuel Shen and Norihiko Shirouzu SHANGHAI/BEIJING (Reuters) - Global automakers are scrambling to meet the demands of China's young urban professionals, who want a car that makes them stand out, yet don't always have the money to splurge on a top-end model. After nearly two decades of frenzied growth driven mainly by the very wealthy, China's auto market is maturing, yet remains ferociously competitive with manufacturers having to react quickly to shifting consumer trends. People like Zhou Wenxi, a 32-year-old Shanghai cram-school owner, and Guo Yetao, 23, a software salesman from Hangzhou, are fuelling two trends: hot demand for smaller crossover sport utility vehicles like Ford Motor Co's EcoSport; There is a potential "seismic shift" in the influence these young urban professionals will have on China's auto market, says Yale Zhang, head of Automotive Foresight, a Shanghai-based consultant.

  • VW has agreed budget car concept, design: manager

    Volkswagen has agreed the basic concept and design of a budget car for emerging markets, a VW manager told Reuters, nearing the project's completion after a long struggle to meet cost targets for the vehicle. "The concept and design are now in place," Hans Demant, responsible for the so-called budget car project at VW, told Reuters on the eve of the Beijing auto show. "We will produce all components in China." Demant's comments are more upbeat than those of VW brand development chief Heinz-Jakob Neusser who said at last month's Geneva auto show that it was becoming more difficult to hit cost goals for the budget car, adding it made no sense to approve a vehicle that was not meeting in-house targets. VW lacks a strong presence in markets such as India and southeast Asia which are dominated by no-frills models, and without a successful budget car, analysts have questioned whether the group will be able to meet its goal of becoming the world's biggest carmaker by 2018.

  • BMW in final stages of decision on potential new factory

    Germany's BMW is getting closer to deciding whether it will build a new factory, its board member Ian Robertson said on Sunday, as the luxury carmaker expands capacity to meet demand in key markets. "We are in the final stages of deciding where the plant will be," Robertson told reporters at the Auto China show in Beijing on Sunday. Robertson said several locations were under consideration, though he declined to elaborate. Earlier this year, BMW said it planned to expand capacity at its plant in Spartanburg in the United States to boost production levels of its sports utility vehicles.

  • Pfizer considers $100 billion bid for AstraZeneca: report
    Pfizer considers $100 billion bid for AstraZeneca: report

    U.S. pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has approached British rival AstraZeneca to propose a 60 billion pound ($101 billion) takeover, Britain's Sunday Times reported. The paper cited senior investment bankers and industry sources saying that informal conversations about a deal had taken place between the two but that no talks were currently under way after AstraZeneca resisted the approach. Pfizer and AstraZeneca both declined to comment on the report to Reuters. AstraZeneca, Britain's second-biggest pharmaceuticals group, has been frequently touted as a potential takeover target as it wrestles with patents expiring on a number of best-selling drugs, leaving future growth uncertain.

  • SEC weighs requiring brokers to identify where trades made: Bloomberg

    (Reuters) - The U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission is weighing a proposal that would require brokers to tell investors exactly where their stock trades are executed, Bloomberg reported on Saturday. The proposed requirement would give investors more clarity on whether they were getting the best prices for the buy and sell orders they entrust to brokers, who can choose from dozens of stock exchanges and private venues, the report said, citing three people familiar with the matter. The SEC, which is the regulator in charge of analyzing the stock market's structure, is reviewing all aspects of how stocks are traded and seeking to identify changes that could quickly be implemented, the report said. An SEC spokesman could not be reached on Saturday.

  • Telus in new agreement to buy Canadian startup Mobilicity

    (Reuters) - Telus Corp , one of Canada's dominant telecom providers, has reached a new agreement to acquire struggling wireless startup Mobilicity, in a renewed bid to overcome government objections on competition grounds. Mobilicity said late Thursday that it agreed to be acquired by Telus for C$350 million and that a court-appointed monitor has recommended the transaction. The government last year twice blocked attempts by Telus to buy Mobilicity on grounds the acquisition would create undue concentration of ownership of wireless spectrum. Under a deal blocked in June, Telus would have paid C$380 million.

  • Rajaratnam's brother loses bid to dismiss insider trading charges

    By Nate Raymond NEW YORK (Reuters) - Rengan Rajaratnam, the younger brother of imprisoned hedge fund manager Raj Rajaratnam, on Friday lost a bid to dismiss some of the insider trading charges leveled against him last year. U.S. District Judge Naomi Reice Buchwald in Manhattan ruled that the indictment adequately alleged the essential elements of the crimes charged. A lawyer for Rajaratnam did not respond to a request for comment. A spokeswoman for Manhattan U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara declined to comment.

Follow Yahoo! News

Loading...