How Not to Write Picture Captions, by a Leading UK Newspaper … Episode 2Once again without mentioning names, one of the UK’s best loved/hated newspapers really ought to get their picture caption writers some lessons in English syntax and other literary trifles. Consider the following verbatim examples…and this is the second in the series of observations…
Happy couple: Euan and Suzanne emerge beaming through the autumn leaves as friends throw confetti Captain’s Log: make sure you wipe your shoes and don’t drag any of that crap back into the Starship Enterprise.
On the road: Following this weekend’s festivities the couple will embark on their Honeymood–the destination of which is reportedly being kept a secret … not surprised. Who wants a moody honeymoon?
No stranger to love: The View host has been married four times to three different men. That’s seven times married, right?
One of the herd: The slow loris wasn’t the only wildlife Rihanna checked out in Thailand. She posted another picture of her interacting with a herd of elephants … Sheesh. A whole herd? All at once or one at a time?
Something to celebrate: The Breaking Bad boys posed with co-star Anna Gunn with gongs in hand. I’m sure Anna knew they were pleased to see her, but I bet she told them to put their gongs away for the photo.
Seventies style: the singer emphasised her toned physique in the cute get-up ass she headed to a boutique hotel for some drinks. This reminds me of a very old joke about the Biblical rubber man who tied his ass to a tree and walked into Jerusalem.
Glowing: She showed off her perfect skin as she slicked on some pink lipgloss and wore her new hair extensions down. Hair extensions don’t last forever, you know. Especially as you breakdance on your head.
The original: The sports car was white with custom blue breaks and badges when he first bought it. I would have sent it back considering it had breaks – especially blue ones.
Sophie was praised for her ‘beautiful movement’ after her dance with Brendan. Given that I have strong connections with colorectal disease, I don’t want to know what she did after her dance with Brendan.
Fight! It looks as though Khloe isn’t going to take her marriage crisis to Lamar Odom lying down. Perhaps if she did she wouldn’t be going through a marriage crisis.
Vintage: Both Kylie (L) and Kendall (R) opted for retro looks during their day out, and their choice of clothes store appeared to reflect their current taste in clothing. No sh*t, Sherlock.
Well ahead: Kylie Jenner appears to be way ahead of younger sister Kylie, who lags behind her. And again, no sh*t, Sherlock. (Note to caption writers: you really need to get out more.)
Pippa Middleton arriving at Heathrow’s Terminal 5 wearing a cape with her boyfriend Nico Jackson. Shame they couldn’t have afforded one each.
Matching: The two were wearing the same bracelet on their wrists. A bondage thing with handcuffs?
Getting it Out there: Josh Hutcherson reveals that although he thinks he’s straight he finds a lot of men attractive and is open to dating them in the November issue of Out magazine. I can think of larger, more comfortable places for a date.
A grainy image taken from Lewthwaite’s computer shows a man holding a baby, believed to be her youngest daughter Surajah, which could be the child’s father. Considering that this is a caption relating to the “white widow” connected to the Nairobi atrocity amongst others, you’d think we could have gotten this nonsense straight? Maybe?
What are your favorite news and magazine captions, and why? Please share the ones you find the funniest..
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