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Older woman making me feel uncomfortable at work, but can't do anything about it?
i'm 19 years old, and i work at my family's tile store. At the store, the members of my family that work there are my aunt and uncle (my dad handles business outside the store)
in addition to the family, there's about 5 or 6 other employees that work with us. There's 5 women that work in sales, and another guy that works with me in the backroom unloading trucks.
There's this one woman, she's in her mid-sixties, that's worked with us for 16 years. And at first, she was really nice, but now she's just going a bit too far. I've been working there for about a year now, and i think she considers herself my "third grandmother". She calls herself my mommy sometimes
it's creeping me out. She always tells me how cute i am, how adorable everything is that i do. She wont stop touching me. I hate going out into the front of the store becuz i kno she'll comment on something that i do. She's even said that she'll take me home with her (and she implies what u think she implies, even tho it's a joke). It sucks, becuz i like to talk to the other employees when the day is slow
i feel so uncomfortable, i feel like im just an object that she talks about. She talks about my cuteness behind my back too, even in front of customers. The problem is, when i tell my aunt, she just says that's the way she is. My aunt just agrees with her and says "oh u really r beautiful tho" and grabs my face.
It's driving me f-ing insane. Help?
I know how you feel, cos there was this teacher in my school when I was younger, and he would always say what a beautiful kid I am, touching my face and all that. I was so immature then that I didn't know what to do. I just avoided him as much as possible. Thank God he left after that school year, but he imprinted this trauma in my mind that I will never forget.
Anyway, I just said that to let you know how common this is (different versions, whatever, at the end of the day, they fall under the same category), even though you may not know it before. Here's what you can do:
-When the older lady bothers you again, tell her right then and there - as politely as possible - that you appreciate her being fond of you, but she's crossing the line. Tell her that you respect her, but what she's doing is too much, and that she's making you feel very uncomfortable.
-Don't threaten to get her fired. That might trigger something in her head.
-Tell her that looking up at your age gap, it's very inappropriate for an old lady like her to make a 19-year-old feel uncomfortable. (Shouldn't she be retiring by now? Mid-60's peeps in the Philippines are all excited to retire. I'm not sure how things go in your country, though.)
-Have a talk with you parents, and your aunt and uncle. Press the fact that although she's always been like that they should take some consideration to the verbal and that bit of physical mental abuse to you.
-Keep yourself busy, so when she turns up, you can block her and say that you're busy.
-When she says that she's your mum, tell her that you don't appreciate that comment, as you have a real mum, and that she doesn't deserve to be overshadowed by someone taking her place in your life.
-When she tells you that she'll take you home with her, simply tell her, "No, thank you." Firmly and sincerely even when she's just joking. That'll let her know how much you take this seriously.
-Talk to your co-workers. Let them know that you don't like the way this lady treats you. Tell them what you want them to say to the lady if she talks about you inappropriately with them. Other people telling her off will, perhaps, make her realise that she's doing something wrong.
I really can't think of anything more, but the talking part is really essential if you want her out of your way. Your friends and folks might be able to work out a way for her to leave you be.
I wish you well, Mario :)
You need to be straight up with the lady and tell her to back the fugg off in the most polite way possible not to come off as rude but as stern. Stick up for yourself and your personal spaceby Vincent - 13 months ago